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My family is having troubles, which is really hard for me to deal with. Every day I go up to my room and shut out the world. I feel like I am also shutting out God. How should I deal with this? - Shutout

Dear Shutout,

Family problems can be hard on a girl, especially when trying to deal with pressures from school and friends. You are not alone, many families experience hard times because of financial troubles, marriage problems (parents fighting), and just learning to get along under the same roof.

It is easy to try to get away from the problems by shutting the door to your room. The problem with that is you can feel like a prisoner in your own home, banished to your room, and where is the freedom in that? But don’t let that get you down, many girls find refuge in their rooms, because they have trouble dealing with parents, siblings, and just feeling alone and misunderstood. Rest in the fact that no one is born knowing how to deal with her problems. It’s something we learn as we go.

Here are a few things I have learned. Try not to assume that no one understands. This attitude can shut the door to people who might be able to help. Rather than shutting God out, talk to Him. If you are mad at Him, and don’t feel like talking to Him, tell Him that you are mad and why. He can handle it. Read your Bible, and have faith that God’s Word can apply to what you are dealing with. Have at least one good friend you can talk with and share with. If it seems like your parents are oblivious to the fact that you are dealing with something, you might be right. Parents are often busy, and while they should be able to sense things, sometimes they don’t know if you are not talking. The only way to help others understand you is to talk to them. If you feel like you don’t have the words to describe what you are feeling, then be honest and calmly sit down with them and tell them what you are feeling. Try not to accuse, but share what bothers you or hurts you. Use this statement, “when (this) happens, I feel (this).” One thing that saved me in my most emotional moments growing up was having a journal to write in. It may take time, but pray knowing God wants to help you, and let Him work in your family while you trust Him.

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